It's been five years since I graduated elementary school
That's five years since I considered myself a young child
But what stands out to me the most that happened five years ago, what made me consider myself no longer a child, was my best friend as the time, moving to the other side of the country.
We had our entire life planned out, down to what jobs we would have, what car [well... we wanted Harlys XD] ...I can't go on.
In the pictures Childhood Memory &Ghost of a Childhood Memory, that is the exact spot where I was told... "Guess what!" "what!?" "I'm moving to New York!!!" she jumped a little... so excited... I wasn't "Your kidding me... tell me you're kidding me- please tell me your kidding..."

Up until that point, I was that innocent and care-free child, after that, I was the depressed child who tried to hard to fit in [I won't go into details on that]


That was probably the worst day of my life. I haven't been the same since. Always like part of me is missing- it will always be there. The other half is about 3,500 miles away.

Well I've gone crazy with my camera a few times and haven't uploaded the pictures, until now.
So I'm gonna put a few on here at a time so you don't have 100 new deviations at once xD
[yea, I have literally over 100 new pictures... I wont be uploading all of them though, for your sake, and mine]

Well enjoy! Any advise will be much appriceated!

P.S. If you have read National Weed Day, you will know that the main character, Benjamin, is working on a comic book. Now, that comic book may or may not be included in the story, but it does have a simple story to it. [Really just two developed characters, one character than isn't developed, &&a simple beginning plotish thing.]

Should I work on and post the comic or not?

Iv been feeling this way for quite some time
I'm not really even sure how to describe it.
I'm just sort of... typing to myself right now,
Instead of talking out loud to someone.

Iv been thinking about this for quite some time
But I'm still not really sure what exactly it is that Iv been thinking about.
Its just sort of... a feeling of distressing sort,
Like I'm forgotten, and nobody cares, because nobody remembers.

I feel like a porcelain doll.
Cracks like scars from too many tea parties gone wrong.
Dirty from being carelessly dropped in the mud.
Dusty from the day I fell behind the bed and wasn't worth getting some dust in your eye to retrieve.

Yes, a pretty little porcelain doll.
So many out there, all cute and innocent with their beautiful skin colors
Their lips, pink and fluffy like blossoms
Their expression, so gloomy and haunting.....

Like all hope is lost to be a real girl,
because the blue fairy only worked for a woody little boy.
Like all hope is lost of finding a true friend,
just because a doll never knows the right thing to say.

So instead of having something to say,
I type to myself in an idiotic blog
That nobody reads, because nobody cares
Or has hope for the hopeless.

Nobody has hope to be with
The hopless who hopes for a particular love to love her,
Nobody has hope to be around
The hopeless who hopes for a particular "friend" to really befriend her.

But.
If I was spreaking
Therefore having something to say,
The following is what I would say:

When all hope is lost,
Hope that hope is a boomerang.
Because then hope would come back,
So its not really lost.

But when all hope is lost,
There is no hopeing about hope,
Because its already gone.
And boomerangs are silly things anyways.

But when most hope is lost
Not all,
You can hope for more hope
But thats wishing your life away.

Most my hope is lost,
Not all,
But those who help me hope
All seem to have lost their hope for me.

No simple signs of recognition,
No mentions of any love,
Nobody willing to get dust in their eye
Because dolls are silly things anyways.

Like boomerangs.

ergh!!!!
I have so much inspiration to write so much stuff from so many anoying problems with people who are being annoying, I can never stay inspired and concentrated on one poem or sketch! I have about 10 poems/songs that I have maybe 1-3 stanzas for each, but I can't finish them.
I start writing one thing, but I'm so stressed out, my mind wanders to other worries and I begin to write something new, then it happens again, and again, and again.......
It's either no inspiration, and it all comes out dry and meaningless, or I can't even finish it!
EBLEHHHGARRRGRRRRRIHATENOTFINISHEDPOEMSO NGCRAPIMPISSEDGRRRRREATMEORIEATYOUIWANTP IEWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Out of many things that I want, Im saving up for a better camera (along with a Gibson SG guitar, a bass of some sort, a smaller guitar amp, and a bass amp) does anyone have any suggestions on a good camera thats not too expensive? Im really looking for something thats good for black and white pics, which I take the most of.